


My Heart is a Haunted House

by alecmagnuslwb



Category: DCU (Comics)
Genre: DinahOllie aren't in it till the end but it's funny and important, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Horror, Halloween, is that a thing? i made it a thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:56:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27283783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alecmagnuslwb/pseuds/alecmagnuslwb
Summary: John and Zatanna have a Halloween all to themselves for the first time in years, the game plan: Oliver’s well-known Justice League bash, but first of course they have to swing by a haunted house.
Relationships: Dinah Lance/Oliver Queen (background), John Constantine/Zatanna Zatara
Comments: 14
Kudos: 19





	My Heart is a Haunted House

**Author's Note:**

> Please enjoy some incredibly self indulgent JohnZee Halloween with a guest appearance from my second favorite DC pair. 
> 
> Title taken from Haunted Heart by Christina Aguilera, a favorite JohnZee song of mine. 
> 
> Happy Halloween!!

The house before them is one of the more foreboding she’s ever seen. It’s the kind of sprawling crickety old mansions that would send Scooby Doo and Shaggy screaming into the hills. So of course they’re about to go inside of it.

“It should be easy, a quick in and out, grab the book and go,” John says entwining their fingers together and tugging her through the gates.

She’s heard him say that before, many times, and it’s almost always not true.

“Why exactly are we doing this instead of drinking all of Oliver’s free booze at the Justice league Halloween party?” she sighs trailing behind him using her free hand to keep her dress from getting too dirty.

She worked hard on her and John’s _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_ inspired costumes this year. Her red dress and flowing coat are practically exact replicas of the ones Drusilla wore and John’s long black duster is an exact replica of Spike’s that she bought online for an amount of money she’s not too proud to admit to.

If this little outing ruins any piece they’re wearing she’s going to be so mad.

“Because I lost a bet to Richie,” he says when they reach the large door. He lets go of her hand and tugs on the knocker shaped like a lion’s mouth. She doesn’t know why he does it, it’s not like someone’s going to answer, no one’s lived here in years.

“Yeah, _you_ lost a bet,” she says flicking her wrist and opening the door. “So why am I here?”

It’s not that she doesn’t want to help John, it’s just that this is the first Halloween in years where they haven’t caught wind of some death cult trying to sacrifice a bunch of virgins or a vampire gang taking advantage of the spooky evening to massacre a party of college alcoholics. It’s their own personal Halloween for the first time in a long time.

They get a free night to rock their kickass costumes, drink a little too much and dance borderline inappropriately together in a public space; it’s supposed to be a fun Halloween not a work Halloween and she wants to soak up every bit of it.

John chuckles looping his arm through hers and pulling her inside the dark foyer of the house.

“Because you love me and wish to support me in all endeavors,” he says conjuring a ball of light to his hand and sending it into the air to guide them to the library.

Zatanna sighs as he drags her along, “I love you. The second thing is questionable though.”

John doesn’t say anything just chuckles and runs a hand through his slicked back extra bleach blond hair. Convincing him to dye it for their costume had been easy a few kisses in the right spots and he was putty in her hands.

They follow the conjured light down a long dark hallway covered in cobwebs, furniture draped in white cloths. It all gives the house an even more spooky vibe than the outside has achieved. A few creaks and groans of old walls catch her attention, but she brushes them off continuing down the hall until the light stops directly in front of a set of large ornate double doors.

The doors are a deep dark wood, the only thing in the house that isn’t rotted, with gold sigils and ornate figure heads sticking out from them.

She recognizes some of the symbols, signs for magic and protection, a few others look a bit more dastardly and far more John’s area of expertise.

“Some of these don’t look too friendly,” she says watching as John runs his hands along the carvings.

He moves his hand in a sort of motion, “A few, but we should be fine I don’t feel any magic running through them, do you?”

She shakes her head still eyeing the door nervously and he smiles pulling the handles of the door and opening them wide. A gust of cold wind bursts out across them sending Zatanna’s hair flying back and the light that’s supposed to be guiding them sputters out. Not a good sign.

She looks at John about to say that out loud when a booming deep female voice washes over them.

“Who dares to enter my home?” the voice says and with another burst of air John and Zatanna are sent forward into the room barely staying on their feet. The lights begin flickering on and off and books start flying off the shelves.

“Fine, huh?” Zatanna says as a blur in black and white rushes past her knocking her to the ground. John attempts to rush to her side but is hit by the same blur. He’s pushed all the way back into the one bare wall groaning as his back slams into it and he’s lifted up. The boards of the wall creak violently turning and bending around his wrists and ankles keeping him in place. A rope slides loose from the curtains tangling around his face and into his mouth.

The blur zooms at Zatanna again and she rolls just fast enough out of its reach her back colliding with something hard and pointy. She lifts herself up and turns finding a stack of bare bones that are very much human and very much real.

They’re not the first people to come for a book in this library, they will however be the first to leave. First they’ll fight this entity, party their asses off and then they’ll go kill Richie for sending them in here blind.

The blur settles down in front of her and Zatanna can now see the essence of what was once a woman. Her long dark hair nearly touches the ground, her bare feet hover dripping wet and her flowing black dress whips in the air she’s circulating around them.

“You shouldn’t have come here little girl,” she growls her eyes lighting up a bright red before she reaches her long dark nails at Zatanna and sends her flying to the other side of the room. She does to her what she’s done to John securing her to the wall with old pipes and silencing her with a long curtain around her mouth.

She eyes Zatanna for a moment, Zatanna holds her stare defiant and annoyed, not even bothering with trying to break loose yet. The spirit hisses and averts her attention to John struggling against his bonds. She slowly hovers over to him leaving a trail of dark red water dripping from her feet as she goes.

“Such an attractive man,” the ghost says once she’s near him. She runs her long bony finger down John’s jaw her dark nails looking like they’re moment away from making a cut. “Yet, so disheveled and sad. How unfortunate.”

Zatanna works to free one of her hands. Her strongest magic may rely on the use of her voice, but she isn’t helpless like this. She focuses all her inherent magical energy to one point of her body sending it to her right arm willing it to move the pipes just enough to wiggle free.

She feels the pipes creak and move around her wrist slowly but surely working to give her space and time to get out of this mess.

It takes a moment, Zatanna’s eyes flicking up to see the spirit leaning in a little too close for comfort to John. Just as the spirit is putting one of her cold hands around John’s neck, her mouth open wide and leaning in she finally breaks a hand free from the pipes lifting up just enough to pull the curtain out of her mouth and off of her face.

“Esaeler em ylteiuq,” she whispers and she falls to the ground silently the pipes not so much as creaking as they let her go, landing on her feet like a cat. The spirit is too focused on John, taking a deep whiff of his hair that makes Zatanna cringe, to notice as she pulls an iron poker from the nearby unlit fireplace. She brandishes it like a baseball bat creeping up behind the ghost, she catches John’s eyes for a second and winks.

“He’s my disheveled, sad, attractive man,” Zatanna says earning the ghost’s attention. She turns around her dark stringy hair flipping over her shoulder. “So, hands off,” she says swinging the hot poker directly into her head.

The ghost screams and flicker in and out before disappearing altogether.

“That won’t take for long,” Zatanna says rushing to John pulling the rope from his mouth and releasing his bonds.

“Thanks, luv,” John says as drops to the ground not quite as gracefully as Zatanna had rubbing at his wrists. “Should I be offended you said disheveled and sad before attractive or am I reading into it too much?” he asks with a pout.

Zatanna shoves at his shoulder, “Shut up,” she says rolling her eyes. “We need to get this damn book, banish this spirit and-“

Zatanna freezes when she sees John’s eyes flicker behind her a look on his face that screams, oh fuck and not in a good way.

“She’s back isn’t she?”

John just nods and Zatanna turns quickly hands raising, she’s had enough of this.

“Gard siht ypeerc ssa tirips ot lleh!” she shouts flinging a black shinning burst of magic into the spirits chest. She screams immediately her body contorting and flickering in and out of being until soon enough she bursts into a thousand flickers of dark light. John grabs Zee as soon as she shatters and pulls her behind him to protect her from any gunk or dangerous feedback.

The blast leaves not a bit of proof the ghost was ever even there, just like that no fanfare or mess and she’s gone from this plane of existence. Zatanna looks down happy to see their costumes still gleam in perfect condition. Zatanna smiles squeezing John’s hip before pulling out from behind him.

“Well now we know why Richie decided this was the favor I owed him, too scared of a ghost,” John says angrily straightening out his jacket. “Let’s find this bloody book and get out before we find out she had an equally space invading murderous sister,” he says walking over to one wall of shelves stepping over the pile of bones as he conjures another ball of light to guide them.

Zatanna heads to the far wall, she scans the spines finding the title Richie gave John and pulls the damn thing from the shelf. She stomps over to John and grabs him by the lapel of his leather jacket. She waves the book in front his eyes so he’s sees that they’re in the clear to get the hell out of there before he can even react.

“We have a party to attend,” she says pointedly dragging him out of the house so fast their guiding light can barely keep up. She seals the doors of both the library and the house with some heavy-duty magic as they go. Maybe this way if the spirit wasn’t the only thing in the house no one else will suffer the fate of those poor bones inside. 

“Next time, Richie can get his own damn book,” John says as they finally find themselves on the sidewalk again. He takes the book from her arms summoning up a quick portal and tossing the book through. Zatanna hopes it lands on Richie’s head, hard.

“Shall we?” John says holding out his arm for her, conjuring up another larger portal for the two of them. His ability, and her own frankly, to shake off attacks and monster encounters without a thought truly never stops astounding her. Zatanna smiles reaching up to fix a piece of his hair that had fallen on his forehead before linking her arm in his and happily stepping through the portal.

The party is already in full swing by the time they arrive, all the supers dressed to the nines in elaborate costumes, except for Bruce who’s wearing a tux, seemingly going as himself tonight. Zatanna eyes around the room admiring the work Ollie and Dinah, who were in charge of the festivities this year, have done. John eyes the room as well, looking for the nearest drink.

“Oh my goddess,” Zatanna says eyes glued across the room where Dinah and Ollie stand. John turns from where he’d been grabbing two large goblets of unknown liquor from a passing tray and follows her eyeline.

“Oh, I’m so glad we made it here tonight,” he says in absolute glee taking a sip from his skull shaped drink. Zatanna is too, because now for the rest of their lives they’re going to have something to hang over the heads of the great Green Arrow and Black Canary.

She grabs the second drink from John and tugs him along to greet the pair.

“Love the costumes,” Zatanna says once they reach them, John tosses his free arm across her shoulders and she leans into him with a smile. She takes a pointed sip of her drink as the pair turn to face them with wide eyes. Up close their costumes are even better.

Dinah is wearing fishnets just like she usually would, but instead of her usual blue and black tones she’s sporting a white corset and coattails and a dark wig over her usually blonde hair; Ollie’s trench coat is so accurate Zatanna is certain he stole it from one of their closets and his usually perfected goatee is gone in favor of an obvious stubble along his jaw. They make a pretty damn good Zatanna and Constantine, not quite original grade good, but good nonetheless.

“In our defense we never thought you’d show,” Dinah says recovering from her shock with a bright smile. She’s clearly nowhere near as embarrassed about this as Ollie is, which means it was definitely Dinah’s idea in the first place. “You never make it to these parties; you’re always stopping some snake demon death cult or zombie rat apocalypse.”

Zatanna and John both chuckle, both of those exact things have happened to them on Halloween before. “Finished off the death cult early this year,” she smiles. “I love the wig; you really should think about going back to your natural color.”

Dinah preens at the compliment tipping her top hat Zatanna’s way in thanks.

“You two look great as well, a perfect couples costume choice,” she smiles wrapping a hand around Oliver’s arm. “Well, second best couple’s costume.”

“Wouldn’t that technically still make us the best since we’re the genuine article?” Zatanna says with a smirk.

Dinah scrunches up her nose. “Touché.”

John snorts and reaches out pulling the cigarette from Oliver’s mouth and sighing.

“Fake smokes, come on now if you’re gonna perfect the look you’ve gotta let the chain smoking be a character guide,” he says with a teasing smile tossing the fake cigarette back at Oliver and patting him on the shoulder. Oliver finally breaks from his wide-eyed surprise and just glares.

“Come on you two, there’s a party to be had and you never get to enjoy them,” Dinah says tilting her head at the dance floor.

John tosses back the rest of his drink and then the rest of Zatanna’s before grabbing her hand.

“Eyeballs to entrails, my sweet,” he says altering his accent just slightly and quoting the character he’s sporting tonight.

Zatanna smiles a wicked smile tilting her head to John’s before pulling him out to the dancefloor, finally getting to really enjoy their Halloween.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: [alecmagnuslwb](https://alecmagnuslwb.tumblr.com/)


End file.
